CHAPTER NINE

A Secret

Although I was no longer in love with Eliza Millward, I did not end my visits to the Millward home entirely, as I knew she would be quite upset if I began to ignore her completely.

Three days after I presented Mrs Graham with the new book, Mr Millward requested that I go to see him. I decided that I would speak with Eliza in a brotherly, friendly manner.

I never discussed Mrs Graham with Eliza, nor with anyone else, but shortly after I arrived at the Millwards' home, she began to speak of the woman in a shocking way.

"Oh, Mr Markham!" she exclaimed. "What do you think of this surprising news about Mrs Graham?"

"What news?"

"Ah, you know!" she said as she smiled.

"I know nothing about it—what are you talking about, Eliza?"

"Oh, don't ask me—I can't explain it."

"What is it, Miss Millward? What does she mean?" I asked her sister, who was sitting quietly nearby.

"I don't know," replied Mary. "Some silly news that someone invented, I'm sure. I hadn't heard the news until Eliza told me the other day. I won't believe it, however—I know Mrs Graham too well!"

I said nothing more, and immediately stood up to leave.

A few days after this, we had a quiet party, with the usual guests, although Mrs Graham did accept the invitation this time. Mr Lawrence came, too. I was curious to see how he would act around Mrs Graham. For the dinner, he seated himself away from Mrs Graham, between my mother and Rose.

"They look like strangers!" Eliza whispered to me.

"What do you mean?" I asked her, annoyed with her childish behaviour.

"You must know of the news," she answered.

"I have heard nothing, except from you," I told her angrily. "If you had wished not to anger me, you should have told me the news or not have told me anything."

She turned away, walked to the window, and began to cry. I was shocked and ashamed at how childish she was acting.

We sat down for dinner.

"May I sit next you?" Eliza asked sweetly.

"If you like."

Just then, Miss Wilson began to speak, looking quite upset.

"Will you please change seats with me, Miss Markham? I don't want to sit by Mrs Graham. If your mamma thinks it polite to invite such a person to her house, then her daughter will have to sit near her, not I."

"Will you please tell me what you mean, Miss Wilson?" I said.

"Can you tell me then, who was her husband, or if she ever had a husband?"

"Have you ever noticed how much her son looks like—" Eliza interrupted.

"I believe you are speaking of Mr Lawrence? I am quite certain that you both are mistaken," I told them, with anger in my voice.

No one else present seemed to notice Eliza, Miss Wilson and I talking, as the minister was telling a story to the dinner party. At times, he would look at us with a look of annoyance, as we continued to speak while he told his story. I could not listen to the story, however, nor could I speak to anyone. I could not eat, and simply waited silently for the meal to finish. As I sat, I looked at Arthur Graham, studying his eyes, mouth, and nose, then I observed Mr Lawrence; yes, they did look similar! But, no! Impossible! Did I not know Mrs Graham? I spoke with her nearly every day. No, impossible! I would not believe them, for I knew her better than they did.

After the dinner was over, I left the table quickly, without saying a word to the guests. I rushed out into the garden.

Soon enough, Mrs Graham and Arthur came towards me. She noticed me sitting alone quietly. "Oh, I'm sorry to disturb you, Mr Markham!" she said.

I invited the fair lady to sit.

"I feared you were unwell," she said, "as you left the dinner so quickly."

"I was rather, but I feel better now. Why did you leave the party?" I asked.

"I was bored with their foolish talk. I do not know how they can continue for so long. Is it that they think they must talk continually to be polite?" she asked.

"I suppose they do."

"Look at those beautiful flowers, and the sunlight shining behind them," she said, then paused, "I almost wish I were not a painter."

"Why so?"

"Instead of enjoying the beautiful scenery, I am always troubled about how to paint such a scene, for it is impossible to recreate what I see."

"Perhaps you cannot satisfy yourself, but you do delight others with your talent."

"Who is coming?" she asked, as she heard two voices nearby.

"It is only Mr Lawrence and Miss Wilson, coming to enjoy a quiet walk. They will not disturb us," I said as I looked at her face for a response.

"What sort of person is Miss Wilson?" she asked. "She was quite cold and unfriendly to me during the dinner."

"Perhaps, as she views you as an enemy."

"Me? Impossible, Mr Markham," she said, looking quite annoyed with me.

I looked at the couple walking along. Jane Wilson seemed to be speaking of Mrs Graham and I, as she looked over often as she spoke. I noticed that he looked quite angry as he looked at us, but gave no response as Jane Wilson spoke. It was true that he was interested in Mrs Graham, but she seemed to feel nothing for him.

Suddenly, Mrs Graham stood up. She and her son returned to the party inside. I did not return till late in the evening, however. When I returned, Mrs Graham was leaving. I offered many times to walk her home, but she refused. As I spoke to the fair lady, I noticed that Mr Lawrence stopped his conversation to hear her reply.

When she was gone, the party was nothing but boredom. Lawrence attempted to talk with me, but I left him.

"What is the matter, Markham?" he whispered as he was leaving.

I was too angry to reply.

"Are you angry because Mrs Graham would not let you go home with her?" he asked with a smile.

"That is not your business."

"No, none, but you should know that Mrs Graham will never love you. It upsets me to see you try; you are wasting your time."

"Liar!" I exclaimed. He looked shocked and said no more.

I had wounded him, and I was glad.

(end of section)